


Small Changes

by aaliona



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, F/F, Fix-It, Minor Character Death, Post-saving the world, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, by which i mean leonard is killed off screen, vanya deserves happiness, we revist the past but not leonard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaliona/pseuds/aaliona
Summary: Five was very clear that Vanya should live her life as close to the first time as possible. Vanya tries to listen, but something about Helen has her breaking that one rule.





	1. A Small Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iwishii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwishii/gifts).



> I saw iwishii mention Vanya/Helen as a side pairing for a fic. I'd never thought it, but I haven't stopped thinking of it since.

“Everything outside the house has to go exactly the same,” Five said.

Vanya had to admit she didn’t understand how they were supposed to do that, but Klaus thankfully beat her to it in his usual lack of concern for sounding dumb.

“Everything? Like if I visited the nice gentleman down the street and gave him $50 for a little something I probably shouldn’t ever have again?”

Five looked like he was considering.

“Absolutely not,” Diego said, his voice icy enough to make clear it wasn’t a conversation.

“He just got clean,” Ben added. “No way you’re wasting money and putting him through that again.”

“Fine.” Five clasped his hands behind his back and considered Vanya. “Yours is the one that really matters anyway.”

“Mine?” Her voice was a squeak, but Vanya hoped no one else noticed. At very least, she hoped no one else commented on it. “Why mine?”

“You caused the apocalypse,” Luther said.

Vanya tried to keep her face neutral, but she was pleased to see Klaus narrow his eyes and mutter, “With assistance.”

Luther heard. He flushed and pretended he hadn’t.

Five continued as though he didn’t notice the sibling squabble. It was possible he’d had enough practice that he didn’t. “Vanya, your life is the constant we have to keep in order to make sure nothing else triggers it. Everything must be as close to the original as possible down to the way you speak each conversation.”

“No.” This time it was Allison who left no room for argument. “She’s not dealing with Leonard again.”

This body was too soon of her meds to activate her powers, but Vanya still thought she heard the lights humming a bit louder. “Please,” she near-whispered.

Five’s eyes hardened, and it clearly wasn’t displeasure for Vanya causing it. “I hadn’t-“ He trailed off. Five never admitted when he was wrong. This was the closest Vanya remembered him coming to it. “That would be impossible for you to replicate anyway. We’ll handle him. Diego and I can make him disappear fairly easily.”

“I’ll help.” Although Allison’s powers didn’t make her the best candidate for this type of job, most of the brothers nodded. Luther looked uncomfortable, but he did not protest.

“Stay home or come here during the times you would have spent with him,” Five ordered. “Otherwise act the same around other people. Go to your same events, take the same trains, go for walks at the same time. We don’t want to trigger unnecessary ripples if we can help it.”

…

Vanya purposefully made herself late for rehearsal like she had the first time, but it sucked. She didn’t like being late. It sent a strong spike of anxiety coursing through her, but Vanya hated missing more. That’s why she’d sucked it up in the first place.

Like last time, the orchestra was already playing. And like last time, Vanya made a stupid excuse for being late and let herself be cut down to size.

“I hadn’t noticed.”

As if she didn’t matter. It wasn’t an uncommon kind of comment for Vanya to hear, but after the time with her family, she’d felt it less. She’d been less invisible, less of an inconvenience in the average lives around her.

As she had last time, Vanya let herself be sucked into the beauty of Helen’s solo. She sailed through things that Vanya on her meds could never do. She liked to think she was in a better place now, but she supposed this would be the true test. Could she play to Helen’s level? Could she be competition in future auditions?

After rehearsal, Vanya went to the bathroom as she had before. She steeled herself for the awkward conversation she knew was coming. Vanya had never done people well, especially when those people were as beautiful and untouchable as Helen. But many would describe her own sister that way. If Vanya could handle Allison, theoretically she should be able to handle Helen.

As she washed her hands, Vanya snuck a glance at Helen in the mirror. She’d noticed last time how unreachable she seemed. After more time with Allison, Vanya noticed other things instead. She noticed the way Helen fluffed her hair to just the right level of wave and smudged at her eyes to make herself look perfect. Helen was trying so hard to seem like the person Vanya had always thought she naturally was.

Vanya moved closer to her, ready for their awkward conversation. “Helen,” she said, and Vanya knew she sounded too confident. “You were really great today. Really, really great.” The compliment was too genuine, too specific, even though it was the same words as last time.

 _“Exactly the same,”_ Five’s voice rang in her head.

“Thanks.” Helen’s response was just as clipped and dismissive as before. Vanya tried not to take it personally.

“It’s those runs in the Stravinsky,” Vanya said, ignoring as she had before the social cues that Helen was sending in ways. “I’ve been hacking at them for weeks, and you just—”

“Make them look easy?” It was the same thing she’d said before, but where Vanya had once heard bored confidence, she now noticed a hint of self-consciousness. Helen had worked hard to get where she was, but clearly she wasn’t invincible.

Vanya nodded. She hadn’t said anything before, and while she wanted to continue the compliment, she knew she shouldn’t.

_“Exactly the same.”_

Helen gave her a onceover, considering Vanya in her entirety. “What’s your name again?”

To be fair, they’d never spoken, and Vanya was never addressed directly in rehearsal. 

“Vanya.” She made it a question, like she had before.

“Vanya.” When Helen said it, the name had more conviction than Vanya had managed in her life. “And how many years have you been stuck at third chair?”

Vanya braced herself. The conversation was about to suck, although she could tell Helen wasn’t trying to be cruel, just honest. 

“At a certain point, it’s not about practice. It’s whether you’ve got something special, and maybe you just.” She paused. “Don’t. You can put in your ten thousand hours, or you can go find something you’re actually passionate about.”

Vanya appreciated that word choice. She’d been snipped at in similar ways in the past, but it was usually a “you’re not good enough” rather than a “you’re not passionate enough.” Helen was still trying to be gentle in her dismissal. That was nice. Vanya wondered how many times she’d been dismissed and whether it had given her the drive to get where she was today. Vanya melted under scrutiny; it seemed Helen stuck her head up.

_“Exactly the same.”_

Helen continued, “And stop slogging away at Stravinsky like a scared thirteen-year-old.” That was less kind.

Vanya looked down as she had before, pretending the insult hurt as much as it had the first time. In some ways, Vanya had gone to this conversation the first time hoping for a friend. She so very rarely made friends these days. But she’d also been torturing herself, setting her eyes on someone as untouchable as Helen. Vanya loved to punish herself.

_“Exactly the same.”_

Helen offered her a small smile, a touch of kindness to balance out her harsh words. “Think it over.”

She picked up her instrument and, with those final words, started toward the door. Last time Vanya had let her go. This time she should do the same.

“Maybe I have.”

Vanya’s heart was pounding as she turned to face Helen. According to Five, this was a bad idea. According to her, she needed to live her own life.

Helen looked surprised as she turned back around, and Vanya wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t exactly given the question enough time to really think it over.

“You’re right,” Vanya said, trying again at a response that was more logical for a first time conversation. Which this now was. Five would kill her if he found out. “I’ve been holding back. I’ve held myself back for years because I was afraid of what would happen if I really tried everything I could.”

Helen opened her mouth, but it was clear she didn’t know how to respond to that. Vanya didn’t blame her.

“In fact,” she continued, “I think I need to start from scratch. What do you do when you’re feeling burnt out?”

Helen’s surprise clamped away as she shut her mouth into a firm line. Clearly she didn’t want anyone to ever think about her potential weaknesses, especially if it involved something as insidious as feeling burnt out. 

“Come on,” Vanya said, offering her a smile. “Everyone has those moments. What do you do when you’re ready to throw your bow out the window?”

“I play in the park.” Helen seemed as surprised as Vanya by her own answer.

“Really?” Vanya grinned. If Helen was responding so honestly, maybe Vanya wasn’t the only one looking for a friend. “I wouldn’t think playing more would be the best way to handle feeling let down by playing.”

“It’s not the same kind of playing,” Helen explained. “Have you ever done it?”

Vanya shook her head.

Helen looked down at her watch, then back up at Vanya. She was clearly considering her options. “Do you want to go now?”

Now it was Vanya’s mouth falling open. “Wait, you’d do that with me?”

She shrugs, a tiny barely perceptible thing complete with a head bob. “Why not? I have a few hours before I have any commitments. What about you?”

Vanya’s commitment was to not say anything new and to return to the house as soon as humanly possible.

_“Exactly the same.”_

“No, I’m free all afternoon.”

…

“What part of no changes did you not understand?”

Five’s voice was impressively high. It even cracked a little. It was a funny reminder that he was going through puberty all over again, but Vanya doubted he would appreciate her saying anything about it.

Klaus perked up from his place on the couch. He’d been there since before Vanya had gotten home, and she’d walked in to him mumbling about how boring it was to not do drugs. “That’s not very not. If Vanya had a date with a non-psycho, I for one approve. She should get some.”

Vanya’s face goes pale. She’d never flushed the way Luther and even Ben do. When she’s embarrassed or feels out of place, she loses color instead. She’d spent most of her child looking peaky. 

“I’m not ‘getting some,’ Klaus,” she insisted. “It wasn’t even a date. It was just a chance to do something together.”

Vanya hadn’t actually intended to tell Five she’d disobeyed his orders to keep the timeline as pure as possible. But he’d been waiting in the parlor when she came inside several hours later than planned. When he had pressed for where she had been, Vanya didn’t feel like lying. She wasn’t sneaking around or hiding anything; she was making friends. 

Honestly Vanya hadn’t intended this as anything more than a friend-finding venture, but of course Klaus could pick up on the nervous butterflies in her stomach.

Five shook his head. “Whether or not you’re keeping it in your pants isn’t the point, Vanya.”

“I don’t think ‘keeping it in your pants’ is the best term for women,” Klaus mused. “They can have fun without taking them off, but it’s difficult and not as satisfying in my own experience.”

Five and Vanya both ignored him. 

“Look,” Vanya finally said. “The timeline around Helen is already changed. In case I’m the only one who remembers, Leonard killed her. Excuse me for reaching out to someone who should be dead tomorrow according to your timeline. That’s not an invitation by the way.”

“Why would I kill her?” Five asked, although his scowl revealed that he’d at least toyed with the idea.

“Her being alive actually helps,” Vanya said. She didn’t have his equations as proof, but her logic was sound. “If Helen never goes missing, the orchestra doesn’t hold auditions. I don’t get the solo, and there is even less pressure buildup for me at the concert if things do go wrong.”

“They won’t,” Five said automatically, and Vanya loved him for it. Even as he was arguing with her about the danger level, he was confident enough in her abilities to assure her of safety.

“Things could still go south,” Klaus said. 

Vanya and Five both made the mistake of glancing at him, and Klaus took it as encouragement.

“Maybe she breaks your heart right before the concert, and it’s enough to make you lose control,” he said, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. His face lit up. “Or maybe it’ll be the mind-blowingly awesome lesbian sex that pushes you over the edge--magically and metaphorically, of course."

Vanya put her head in her hands, but that didn’t deter Klaus.

“Take things slow, young lady,” he said in his absurdly stern dad impersonation. “You never know the consequences of a hasty encounter with a stranger.”

“She’s not a stranger,” Vanya said before realizing she’d played right into his conjurings. “Nothing is going to happen, Klaus.” She turned to Five, figuring he needed to hear it too. “Nothing is going to happen to jeopardize the fate of the world. She’s just a friend that’s been a long time coming.”

“I still don’t like it,” Five turned away, already heading toward the bar.

Klaus pouted in his direction. He wasn’t supposed to drink because he’d proven that he couldn’t handle giving up drugs without giving up alcohol too. Plus he liked the AA crowd best of all the groups he’d tried.

“Can you come back to mine?” Vanya asked Klaus without really thinking. She wanted to distract him from Five’s drinking, but now she had effectively trapped herself. “Helen and I are getting lunch tomorrow, and I’m not sure she’s ever seen me in anything but a button-up.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Klaus said brightly as he hopped off the couch and stretched, his short top rising to expose his hip bones prominently. “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of oversized sweaters to show off too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this part finished on my computer for ages. My original plan was to make it longer, but I kind of like it. Short and sweet.

A few people glanced their way as Vanya and Helen entered the park. Vanya wasn’t surprised. They were still dressed from rehearsal, their last before the concert. Unlike last time, Vanya hadn’t received a last minute promotion, but she was glad for it. It meant Helen was still alive.

Helen smiled as she stopped by the same tree she had last time.

“Is this your spot or something?” Vanya meant it as a joke and was glad when it came out as such.

With a shrug, Hele replied, “You could say that. Play with me today?”

Vanya opened her mouth to deny the request, but Helen looked so expectant, bow already in hand as she reached for her violin.

“You start, and I’ll get a feel for it.”

It had become obvious the first time that Helen had a huge repertoire of both concert and pop melodies memorized. Unlike her, Vanya lost a melody if she hadn’t worked and worked on it recently.

The answer seemed to be enough for Helen, and she nodded before taking her place at the sidewalk’s edge. Her case lay open in front of her.

To look like she was considering play, Vanya carefully removed her violin from the case. She held back, sitting on the bench behind Helen with the violin on her lap to listen. She didn’t have the skill to just jump in with whatever Helen was playing. Besides, she liked to hear her.

It took Vanya a few moments to place Helen’s first song. She didn’t know the title, but Vanya could at least tell it was Lindsey Stirling. Helen was so talented, and Vanya marveled at the sheer range she possess, both in musicality and genre.

A few couples stopped to listen as Helen moved into a cover of a pop song that Vanya knew only well enough to know she should. For every three people that walked by, at least one had a couple dollars to spare. Vanya didn’t know the exact ratios of street performance, but she suspected that was a solid amount. She wondered how much Helen could pull on a good afternoon. When money had been especially tight, Vanya had considered it, but she’d never had the courage to actually go somewhere and play. 

As Helen finished her third song, she lowered her instrument for the first time since she’d begun.

Vanya’s stomach rolled as Helen looked at her.

“Oh, I can’t,” she said before Helen could ask. “I don’t know nearly as much as you. I don’t have anything you’re playing.”

“Just pick something,” Helen suggested. “You start, and if I can recognize the song and key, I’ll join.”

The only non-classical piece Vanya currently had prepared and memorized was “Angel of Music” from her disastrous audition last week. But she stood and settled in beside Helen, trying not to let the height difference intimidate her. She was used to being the short one in any situation. Even some of her music students were taller than her.

Her start wasn’t as confident as Helen’s had been. One of the couples walked away. Vanya took a deep breath and forced herself to keep going. Her eyes fluttered closed as she let herself be swept into the music.

She got into it. Vanya let herself fly through the music, almost jumping a minute in when Helen tentatively joined in a fifth down. Both grew more confident, and the music moved together. Occasionally Helen would drop out, let Vanya play through a complex section on her own, but she’d be right be in to continue on.

As the song ended, a small burst of clapping had Vanya opening her eyes. She was astonished to see they’d amassed a small crowd. Several people stepped forward to throw bills in Helen’s open case.

“That’s all for today,” Helen said kindly, giving a small head bow and glancing at Vanya to encourage her to do the same.

Vanya dipped her head. Without meaning to, she’d started smiling. “That was amazing. I’ve never played with someone off the cuff like that.”

“It was fun,” Helen agreed. “We should learn a few pieces together. I think the crowd really liked the duet feel.” She maneuvered her violin to pull the money from the case. Once her instrument was tucked away, she began counting the money, laying it in two equal piles as she went.

Vanya tucked her violin over her shoulder. “I can’t take that much. You earned most of it by yourself.”

“I don’t mind,” she said as she handed over a pile. “A lot of them stuck around because you were here. The promise of a second player was a good hook.”

“I don’t know that I’d call myself a hook.” It was perhaps a bit harsh on herself, but Vanya didn’t think it was dishonest.

“I would.”

Vanya looked up sharply, her face going red at the way Helen smiled as she turned back to her violin. Huh. That was interesting.

Switching back to Helen’s request from earlier, Vanya said, “I’d like to learn music with you.”

Her heart fluttered just a little when Helen looked back at her.

“Good. I’d like that too.”

For just a moment, Vanya let herself imagine what else they could learn together.


End file.
